The Bawdy Cloister

Rowdy's Month in Review

ITEM!

I had a dream the other night that I was at a spa resort and some guy was pressuring me to get a colonic.  At first I tried to laugh it off and told him I wasn't interested.  But he kept pestering me.  I couldn't find an exit and I grew frustrated and angry.  Just as I started yelling at the guy to let me the hell out of the room I woke up, only to find a Dual Action Cleanse infomercial playing on television.

Two nights later I was dreaming that I was a judge on the new Gong Show.  All the performances were Heavy Metal acts that absolutely sucked.  But every time I got up to swing at the gong, some force would repel my mallet never allowing it to make contact with the gong--so the performances would continue against my will.  Again, just when the frustration and anger began to boil over, I woke up... this time to find Metal Mania playing on VH1 Classic.

ITEM!

I went to see The Dark Knight the second week it was out.  I caught a matinee showing and had the theater to myself.  My greatest worry was that the film couldn't live up to the hype it had received.  But it really did; I was impressed. 

ITEM!

I must have been living under a rock.  I don't know how I missed the news that The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles were released on DVD last year.

I watched the series about 10 years ago when I was in Japan.  My local video store had it on VHS.  Considering how well written and researched the series was, and the fact it was filmed on location around the world, I never understood why it wasn't available on DVD.  Well, it turns out for good reason.  There is more bonus material contained in this set than anything I've ever seen before.  Lucas released the DVDs in three volumes.  All total, there's 31 DVDs!  They contain all the episodes plus 94 historical documentaries that correspond to people and events mentioned in the show!  Apparently it took them over five years to put all this together.  I'm only four discs into it so far, but I'm having a blast.

The only sad thing is they cut the "bookends."   When I first saw the series, each episode started with an old, one-eyed Indiana Jones talking to whoever would listen, he'd start reminiscing and his story would fade into the episode.  That's all missing on the DVD.  In case you're wondering what 93 year old Indy looks like, here he is...

All the bonus material and previously unaired episodes contained in the DVD set more than compensate for old Indy hitting the cutting room floor though.

ITEM!

Mrs. T and I woke up Monday morning to find the rear driver's side window of her car broken and glass shards all over our yard and driveway.  Three other cars were hit on our street as well.  At first we didn't think anything was missing.  It wasn't until the next day I took the Acolyte for a ride and realized his diaper bag was gone.  Whatever troglodyte stole it probably thought he was getting a purse or a computer since the bag was solid black.  Instead he got a handful of diapers and a Backyardigans T-shirt.  Even though we didn't lose much, replacing the glass set us back $250 and I spent the better part of the morning vacuuming glass.  I was angry, but nothing like being trapped in a room with a guy trying to convince me to buy a colonic.

ITEM!

I have a new favorite picture of me and the kid...

Where am I?

I'm here, but so is my brother, and I'm expecting my folks in later this week.  Preparing for company and working down in the valley the past several weeks hasn't been conducive to blogging.  Stay tuned though because after the family's gone I suspect I'll have pictures to share.

Rowdy's Week in Review

ITEM!

The past three weeks have absolutely sucked.  Mrs. T has been fighting off the flu resulting in her pushing back scheduled business trips.  I've been trying to juggle my schedule around hers and it's been a nightmare.  I finally knocked out what I needed to do out of town now, so the pressure's finally off.  Mrs. T is rebounding as well. 

ITEM!

My maternal grandmother died back in 1991.  This Wednesday we lost the last of her siblings, my Aunt J.  There were five siblings in that generation.  My grandma, Aunt R and Uncle J were beer drinkers, my Aunt L drank water, but Aunt J drank Scotch.  Aunt J was pretty feisty.  Reports from Indiana tell me she was flicking people the bird right up to the very end.  She was a stalwart Republican and we butted heads constantly over politics.  Not a birthday card or Christmas card went by without us scribbling a political jab to the other.  For example, during the '04 Election I sent Aunt J this scandalous shot of herself:

This really pushed her buttons and she was on the phone immediately giving me an earful.

I regret that I couldn't get to Indiana for her funeral today.  But I want folks to know that in lieu of flowers I sent a contribution in her memory to the Republican National Committee.  I wouldn't have done that for anyone else.  But I just know that this evening she's strolling the golden sands of some heavenly seashore hand-in-hand with Ronald Reagan-- and that makes me feel good.

ITEM!

Speaking of politics, David "Biafra" Shuster was back on the air tonight after MSNBC suspended him for his role in Pimp-gate.  Of course, Bill "Freaky Falafel" O'Reilly never left the air after his lynching comments about Michelle Obama.  I think this perfectly demonstrates the problems that come with subjectively sanctioning folks for the content of their speech.  Note that both the Shuster and O'Reilly comments were metaphorical.  I've already discussed my take on "pimping" in my previous post, let me throw in a word about "lynching."

If you look up the word "lynch" in the dictionary chances are it'll define the word in terms of vigilante justice/punishment without due process, usually referring to hanging and often by a mob.  The definition is race-neutral.  People use the term frequently without intentionally implying race.  Problems arise though when listeners unintentionally infer race.  Of course when the speaker is white and the subject is black sparks can fly.  O'Reilly's comment was careless and insensitive, but we can't just assume he intended to use the word fully loaded with racial implication.  We have to be reasonable.  Speakers should try to be sensitive.  But before blowing a gasket, listeners must consider the context and tone of a statement and ensure that they're not reading more into it than what the speaker intends.  Moreover, the ultimate sin in my book is when people intentionally infer the worst from a clearly benign statement in order to smear the speaker or gain sympathy for themself.  Such tactics are an affront to reason and folks who utilize them ought to be lynched.

And the next thing I knew I was modeling on the internet

Some weeks back I got a call from someone asking if my beard was for-hire.

I said yup. 

Here's the result.

25 Artists I've Seen Live

It's a meme from Slender Reed!  Oh, no, from Hyperher, she did it after Reed, so I'll use her list instead (I get an extra asterisk that way too.)

Copy this list, leave in the bands you've seen perform live and add an asterisk by it, delete the ones you haven't, and add new ones that you have seen until you reach 25. (An asterisk means the previous person had it on their list, two asterisks means the last two people who did this before you had that band on their list and so on.)

Here's my list (in no particular order). Play along if you like, and let me know if you do.

1.  Don Henley
2.  Poi Dog Pondering 
3.  The Cure
4.  Melissa Etheridge
5.  Arlo Guthrie
6.  The Cranes 
7.  Willie Nelson
8.  Gary P. Nunn
9.  "Weird Al" Yankovic
10. Michelle Shocked
11. The Doobie Brothers
12. Indigo Girls**
13. The Jesus and Mary Chain
14. Ben Harper
15. Ani DiFranco*
16. Eddie Vedder 
17. Bonnie Raitt
18. Del Castillo
19. Los Lonely Boys
20. Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion
21. Bo Diddley
22. Midnight Oil
23. Crosby, Stills & Nash
24. Hothouse Flowers
25. Ziggy Marley

Cliff's Notes

It's a nasty, severe thunderstorm-warning kind of night here, so I thought I'd curl up with a meme.  This one's from Cherish:

Using only SONG NAMES from ONE ARTIST , cleverly answer these questions in a form that makes sense...

Pick a band: Jimmy Cliff

1.) Are you a male or female?
Wahjahka Man

2.) Describe yourself:
Under the Sun, Moon and Stars

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
I Want I Do I Get

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Over the Border

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Journey

6.) Your best friend is:
Rub-A-Dub Partner

7.) Your favorite color is:
"But mistress Brown your son is dead." [Sorry, had to use lyrics on this one.]

8.) You know that:
We All Are One

9.) What's the weather like?:
Waterfall

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?:
Roll On Rolling Stone

11.) What is life to you?:
Many Rivers To Cross

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?:
Let Your Yeah Be Yeah

13.) Describe your ex?:
Hard Road to Travel

14.) Your current love interest is?:
Trapped

15.) What's your favorite hobby?:
Going Back West

16.) When you think of your friends you think?:
Wonderful World, Beautiful People

17.) What do your friends think of you?:
Roots Radical

18.) What does your current love interest think of you?:
Love Solution

19.) You always travel with?:
Use What I Got

20.) The best way to end a long day?:
Reggae Night

I Want to Make You Something Beautiful

These arrived in my inbox today. 

"I read Isaiah and took the lines from it that I liked and adapted them so they rhymed. My desire was not to use anything that perpetuated the myth of a God character being angry and aggressive.
I suppose I observe a lot of violence done in the name of theologies of various religions, but when you study the actual texts of those religions you find that they don't back up anyone who might use them to justify war or violence or anything really which is unloving of people."

If You Had A Vineyard mp3

Jeremiah (Something Beautiful) mp3

Thanks Sinead.

President Rowdy

Here's an idea inspired by a recent post by Tvindy.

If you were President of the United States of America, who would you select for the executive cabinet?  Here's the crowd that's in there now.  I gave the question some serious thought (the list took me nearly a week to complete.)  I selected the person I thought would work best for the position.  I didn't want to fill the positions with my favorite political pundits either, I tried to find folks with the pracitcal know-how to do the job.  I admit, I threw in some academics, but they're in positions that I believe are well-suited for academics.  I should also point out, I made no attempt to achieve any type of balance, whether it be gender, race or what have you.  They're my top picks, plain and simple.  (Sorry ladies.)  I've got specific reasons for selecting each of them, but I really don't have time to write about each one.  Many I think are self-explanatory, if you have specific questions over any of my choices, we can discuss them in the comments.

At any rate, I'd love to hear what your cabinet would look like, so let me know if you create a list of your own.  But for now, here's mine:

Department of Agriculture

Secretary Ted Quaday; Program Director for Farm Aid.

Department of Commerce

Secretary Ben Cohen; Co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream and President of Business Leaders For Sensible Priorities.

Department of Defense

Secretary David H. Patraeus; Commanding General, U.S. Army Combined Arms Center and Fort Leavenworth

Department of Education

Secretary Bill Moyers; Future President of The United States of America

Department of Energy

Secretary Joe Jobe; CEO of the National Biodiesel Board

Department of Health and Human Services

Secretary Dennis Rivera; President of 1199SEIU

Department of Homeland Security

Secretary Louis Farrakhan; National Representative of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad and The Nation of Islam

Department of Housing and Urban Development

Secretary Geoffrey Canada; President & CEO of Harlem Children's Zone

Department of the Interior

Secretary Peter Miguel Camejo; Chair and co-founder of Progressive Asset Management, Inc

Department of Labor

Secretary Anna Burger; Chair of Change to Win

Department of State

Secretary Jesse Jackson; President and Founder of RainbowPush Coalition

Department of Transportation

Secretary Daniel Duff; Chief Counsel and Vice President-Government Affairs for American Public Transportation Association

Department of the Treasury

Secretary John Mackey; CEO of Whole Foods Market

Department of Veterans Affairs

Secretary Ted Strickland; Governor-Elect for the State of Ohio

Department of Justice

Attorney General Steven Shapiro; Legal Director for the American Civil Liberties Union

Cabinet Rank Members

The Vice President

Cornel West; Class of 1943 University Professor of Religion, Department of Religion, Princeton University

White House Chief of Staff

Timothy Gunn; Chair of Fashion Design, Parsons The New School For Design

Environmental Protection Agency

Al Gore; Former Vice President of the United States of America

Office of Management and Budget

Paul Weiss; Senior Vice President and Chief Financial Officer, National Foundation For Credit Counseling

Office of National Drug Control Policy

Tommy Chong; Actor, Writer and Director

United States Trade Representative

Raymond C. Offenheiser; President of Oxfam America

On Why My Head Hurts

Just got back from my buddy's open house warming party for his new legal office.  If you can't read the small print on the label it reads, "Made with Real Dairy Cream, Rum, Brandy and Blended Whiskey."

God...is it really only Wednesday?

Christmas Meme

from The Bed & Breakfast Man

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Mulled Port

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Normally he would set them under the tree, unless the present had legs and a lap, then he might sit them under the tree...  Ooo, Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man has legs and a lap!  Santa can sit him under my tree any day!

3. Coloured or white lights on tree/house? I prefer colored, but our pre-lit synthetic Douglas fir came with white.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.  Too risky since I know who all's coming over to visit this year.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Black Friday.

6. What is your holiday dish (excluding dessert)? That's a trick question, you can't exclude dessert... Custard Pie

7. Favourite holiday memory as a child: Attempting to photograph Santa with a trip wire and Polaroid camera when I was five.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I'm still discovering the truth about Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?  Yes.  And anyone who says "no" is a liar.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Ideally, with nothing but wooden ornaments from Käthe Wohlfahrt.  In reality, only three wooden ornaments from Käthe Wohlfahrt and a bunch of crap from China.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? I moved to south central Texas for ONE reason and one reason only, I absolutely hate sub-freezing temperatures and any type of precipitation that may accompany it.

12. Can you ice skate? Yes... but I haven't in over ten years.

13. Do you remember your favourite gift? Yes, but I received it on my birthday, not Christmas.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Time off work.

15. What is your favourite holiday dessert? Mulled Port 

16. What is your favourite holiday tradition? Trying to trump my previous year's present for my Evil Little Brother.

17. What tops your tree? Nothing at the moment, but Grandma & Grandpa Theologian are bringing a very special tree-topper down from the Great White North when they visit later this month... stay tuned....

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving, or better stated, Browsing and Buying wishing I could keep the stuff for myself.

19. What is your favourite Christmas song? It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

20. Candy canes: Why?

21. Favourite Christmas movie? The Hotel New Hampshire  And don't go telling me this isn't a Christmas film because it most certainly is; and my favorite Christmas film at that.

22. What do you leave for Santa? A ranked list of stuff I want and sworn affidavits from my associates vouching for my good behavior.