The other day I was sitting near a couple of women. One was trying to tell the other why their friend was recently admitted to the hospital. But she couldn't quite remember the diagnosis:
"Was it cardiac arrest?"
"No, it was something more serious."
The Baby & The Piano (Snow)Man
"Hey kid, Listen to this....
Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night....."
"Wo, wo, wo!... Stop it! Anything but Sting. Please."
"Er, okay...
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung...."
"Seriously, where does Dad buy this crap?"
Never Too Young
I just received my second giant shipment of toys from New Zealand and I immediately started jamming out to my Fatcat & Fishface CD, Pretty Ugly. You just can't beat the lyrics...
From the song Pretty Ugly: "When will you say that you love me? When will you say that you care? I ain't got a feature to recommend me; I'm pretty ugly, but I really don't care."
From Middle of the Road: "When you're stuck in the muck and you're running out of toilet paper...."
and from The Possum Waltz: "Take me away, From the wee baby birds, I'll only eat them....Poison me now, For your own good, Poison me now, Before it's too late...."
It's obvious that Kiwis don't waste a minute before teaching their young that a possum is good for nothing. I also ordered the book Possum Joe and it came with this cute little possum puppet...
and attached to it was this tag...
it reads, "Possum: An estimated 70 million of this destructive pest live in New Zealand's bush."
I couldn't hold in my laughter when I saw that, and wondered how similar tags on cute animal toys would go over here if sold here in the States. At any rate, you can see more pictures of all this stuff over at The Nursery.
Rowdy's Consumer Reports
About a year ago I went shopping for new work clothes. All my jeans are holding up well, but the same can't be said for some of my shirts.
I bought a couple of Wrangler shirts. The collar on one (Exhibit A) is beginning to fray, the other (Exhibit B) is simply beyond repair:
Exhibit B: 
So far, the Carhartt I bought that day (Exhibit C) is holding up well.
Exhibit C: 
Let's just see if it lasts as long as my Benetton shirt (Exhibit D.) It's been in my active wardrobe rotation since I bought in 1989 and it still isn't showing any signs of wear...
Exhibit D: 
Full Beard Natural?
The beard as of two minutes ago.
So Johnny the Horse wrote a bit about the upcoming flick Splitting Hairs and the World Beard and Moustache Championships (WBMC). You really should read it, it's a good critique.
JtH is a member of the Handlebar Club, a well established organization that I greatly respect. But it's one to which I don't qualify, according to their site:
The qualification for membership is:
"a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities"
and, in addition, we specify that beards are not allowed.
There are other organizations out there for us with beards (and other categories) that are affiliated with the WBMC. But none near the Cloister as far as I can tell. Alas, I feel a mission...a calling...to organize.
Now I know this coming year is destined to be busy and there's no way either me or my "club" will be prepared to participate in Brighton, England come September 2007. But I think the following competition in Anchorage, Alaska to be held March 2009 is a real possibility.
That gives me three years to prepare. I guess the first order of business would be creating a name for the club and then start recruiting. Any name suggestions?
What is Guy Talking About?
It appears that my old friend, Guy, has finally lost his mind. While perusing J-Go's site, I ran across this series of comments:
Guy-- Have you ever noticed that the Picasa logo is exactly the same as Stericycle's?
John-- I don't understand a word you just said.
Guy-- I meant to say, "Have you ever noticed that the Picasa logo [displayed under the picture in your post] is the same as SYLLOGISTICS'?"
Now...from what I understand, this 
is the Picasa logo that Guy is referring to. But if I remember correctly, this 
is the Stericycle logo. The two are clearly not exactly the same as Guy initially purports. Thus John was rightly confused. An agitated Guy then says he meant to say "SYLLOGISTICS'." By the location of his apostrophe and ommission of a word, he could not have meant Syllogistic System's logo, which is this 
. At least that one has some spiral action to it, but it's monotone and is in no way identical to Picasa's.
So what is Guy talking about? Here's my theory...I believe Guy originally meant this 
, the logo of White Rose Environmental (a company acquired by Stericycle last year.) When John failed to understand, Guy subsequently lost his mind. Although still not exactly the same, White Rose Environmental's logo is more similar to Picasa's logo than anything else I can imagine. What say you?
Overhaul at The Reliquary
I know there hasn't been much movement here in the Cloister, it's because I've been rehauling The Reliquary. The new site is so much better organized and easier to navigate than the previous one. In addition to categorizing everything, I discovered a few more links to add to the sidebar and.... drumroll... I finally found the Star Wars-Burger Chef commercial I'd been hunting down on the net now for nearly two years.
It's a commercial that aired in 1977 where C-3PO walks into a Burger Chef and asks for a free Star Wars poster and...
... the girl behind the counter cheerfully tells him he'll get his poster once he buys a 49 cent Coke...
He goes and gets a Coke... 
...he doesn't have much of a choice....
and then..........all hell breaks loose... 
.
I won't spoil it, you can check it out for yourself at The Reliquary.
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